Wretched n' Reliable / Khoasan Road, Bangkok, Thailand

On the front windshield of my bus it said in big bold letters, hmm, V.I.P. Very Important Progress? I left the capital in early afternoon and was in Thailand by nightfall where once we crossed the border everything just got better, first off all the bus,, for the first time since arriving in the ride was fast and smooth...if you've ever been to Thailand you know what I mean, for those of you who haven't well, it makes Greyhound (Canada) look ghetto. The huge luxury double decker buses they use have big comfy seats that go waaay back, giant windows, AC and movies in English. I watched a total of 5 Hollywood flicks on Chinese buses that were dubbed in Cantonese. Now, personally, I have a special fondness for old Kung Fu movies where the dubbing just adds to the appeal. Well if you think it works the other way...think again. If I had to sit through one more of those I would probably shoot myself.

Yeah, it's that bad!!!! Then there are rest stops, they have actual food, my favorite being little balls of meat on a stick in deep fried and dunked in Thai sauce...hmmm hmmm and the toilets, well, they're still nasty, but you don’t need to watch maggots crawling at the end of your stream or your neighbor taking a dump a foot away from you. A special bonus for me.

So, Bangkok, more precisely Khoasan Road. I rocked in about 5am and it's just like I left the place in a soiled state of organized disarray. The air was hot and smelled of fried food, beer and sweat and luke warm garbage. Tuk tuks to my left, stumbling tourists to my right. The bars were closed, but the Irish restaurant was still pumpin' and the whole strip was lit up like a Christmas tree. It's glorious and hideous all at once. After 3 weeks of relatively uncomfortable and unpredictable travel it was a welcome feeling to be someplace familiar even it was in the strongly appealing wretchedness of Khoasan.

"200 baht room for you, special price, foth floor, no Thai lady, no Thai boy, night night"
was all that needed to be said for me to get a key to my room.

How's that for an introduction? I caught a shower, grabbed a bite to eat and called home and while I was on the phone it started. By it, I mean, those 'unwelcome friendlies', some are women, some are men, all are wearing mini skirts and saying something to affect of

"Ooh, you beddy handsome man, where you going? You looky me? You go wit me blow job, I have room".

Kinda funny in that I've heard this all before so it's not really a shock, but no way in hell is it going to work this time either. However, thanks for the offer mam, er, I mean man!

I gotta hand it to them though they are persistent, and obvisouly there are enough poor fools out there to make worth their while.

"Heddo, where you from, what yo name?"

"Beat it!"

"Where you going?"

"Uh, I'm on the phone"

I said I was talking to my mom and he-she still wanted to chat, I said I was talking to my girlfriend he-she still wanted to chat and when that wasn't enough well, I don't know how to describe the motion she did with her mouth and her hand across the street, but the idea of it caused me to dry heave! Though I have to admit it just wouldn't be Khoasan without something like that right off the bat.